The Four Page Diet

So, my health has been giving me some troubles lately. I can't seem to shake some issues and I am feeling the effects of this and the stress we have been under the last several months.

I am not a fan of traditional medicine, as it usually involves a prescription with a list of side effects thirty miles long. So, I have opted for holistic or homeopathic routes.

It saved my life four years ago, so I know it works.

Now, before you think I am chanting and doing funky voodoo stuff, I will say that I do believe in doctors. One saved my life twelve and a half years ago when Xander was born. I just struggle with so much medication being prescribed. And I also am a firm believer in the awesome power of our bodies. We are amazing machines and as long as we are taking care of them, then they will work.

So, anyway, back to the subject....

I was miserable. I was in pain and I was not feeling well. I did a detox yesterday and was told I would be feeling "off" afterwards. I sure did! Really yucky and tired and just blah! But a good nights sleep made me feel so much better and some of my symptoms have diminished today.

I was also given the suggestion to follow what they call "the four page diet." So, I go to get the copy of the diet at the front desk and there are only three pages......yep! I am in trouble all ready! The magic answer must be on the missing page!

Anyway, it is a diet for those sensitive to yeast and molds and those suffering from some of the things I am suffering from right now.

It's a no carbohydrate diet with little or no fruit. Basically just protein and veggies.

I started last night. Today I made it through. One day down.

One thing I realized. I eat a lot of carbohydrates and a lot of fruit! The carbs weren't as bad as the fruit. I keep telling myself it is a mindset. It is a lifestyle change. It will make you feel better. It will be worth it.

Then I made the mistake of checking one of my favorite blogs and she had a recipe for chocolate chip cookies with an oreo stuffed inside....with pictures.....aaarrrgh!

Anyway, next step is walking again. It's been a long, cold winter and I need to get moving. No more excuses!

So, I will let you know how the "four page diet" works out.....and if you ask, I might even send you the recipe for the stuffed oreo cookies so you can try them and let me know how they taste!

Sigh!

So, we started spring break at 3:00pm yesterday. (The boys loved saying that, so I had to put the exact time!) Last night we had a two year old throwing up. What a great way to start spring break! Sigh! It seems to never end at our house right now.

I have been thinking a lot about spring break and what I want to do. Since we have tightened our belts a lot the last couple of years, Hilton Head, South Carolina is out. (insert sad face)

Now, mind you, we live in the nation's capitol, so entertainment is not scarce. It's just that the beach is my favorite spot to just unwind. Growing up, we would bundle up and explore tide pools for hours, swim in the sub-zero Oregon coast temps until our lips were blue and we couldn't feel our toes and then build the most awesome sand castles. And then when we could feel our toes again, we would run and body surf the waves again.

And every year we went to Hilton Head, we would spend the entire week just enjoying the beauty of the sunrises, get excited when we saw dolphins and running and jumping in the waves. I would just be there, in the moment, and just enjoy everything that was going on around me. It was heaven!

I think I have convinced Jason to take a day trip to the beach. It won't be the same as a week of sand in my toes and wind in my hair, but enough to let me breathe the salty air and feel the foamy water on my legs. The kids will love it and we will build an awesome sand castle and I will be happy. I need to have a moment to just close my eyes and breathe in and out and wiggle my toes in the sand.

It's been a frustrating few months. It's been taxing on my health and my ability to deal with added stress (like a barfy two year old) and my perspective on life. I need a moment to just be. To just enjoy. To just relax and take a deep breath. To re-group and re-focus. To re-commit to myself and my God that I have the faith to make it through all of this.

I can already smell that salty air and feel the wind and hear the waves....as soon as the two year old is healthy!!!

Dancing in the Rain

There is something going on with our family and I am not sure what it is. I need some kind of talisman or good luck charm because we are having a rash of frustrating things happening to us this year! My dad gave us one awhile back and I have no idea where it went. I need him to send me another one! Maybe it will help us out!

Friday, Xander came home from school and was upset. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he is being bullied by another child. He's been trying to deal with it on his own and Friday it got worse....to the point he was nervous about going to the middle school activity night because that kid was going to be there.

I talked to him calmly (while I was boiling up inside!!!!!) and we discussed what this little demon was saying to Xander. There were some pretty mean things. And that day he had specifically targeted Xander about the activity, saying that if he goes no one else will want to go and he won't want to be near him either, that Xander is a bad person and no one likes him and then told the girls near Xander not to sit next to him or that meant they were in love with him, that he will be watching him at the activity..blah! blah! blah!

It doesn't really matter what he was saying, the fact that Xander was nervous about attending an activity and had to watch his back and avoid this kid the whole time is truly classified as bullying. He said it has been going on for quite awhile.

I have been on Xander lately about his test grades and some missing homework and now it is all making sense. The poor kid is probably so stressed out! Knowing that he is moving to a new school and being bullied are very stressful on children! I immediately emailed his teachers and let them know. There is a form the kids have to fill out to report bullying so the administration can deal with it. ( I'm not sure how effective that is, but I will have to trust the administration on that one.)

One of the teachers email back today and let me know that there is another child trying to deal with this same little demon on his own and is afraid to write the referral for fear of consequences. (My thoughts exactly!) I am glad that the teachers at least know about it, but why are we waiting for referrals to deal with it?!?!?!?

We will write the referral tonight and I think I will personally deliver it to the Middle School director. That might speed up the referral process.

One of my worst fears as a mother is that one of my children becomes a target or is not liked. I remember a girl in Vale, Oregon, where I grew up. Her name was Gina. No one liked her. Everyone said that she smelled and teased her. The boys would make rude noises and comments to her. I didn't ride on the same bus as her, but one day I did and was horrified by what I saw. I was sitting with my friend, April, and I asked her if that happened every day. She said it did. After that, I remember being very upset for many days about Gina. She wasn't in my grade or class, so I didn't have a chance to see her very often, but I will always remember how bad I felt about how the other kids treated her. I didn't even think about defending her. I think I was too shocked to know what to think at the time.

I know Xander has a great group of friends, and he is not the only target, but it is still stressful to him and our family. It is still making his mom very concerned, since he is struggling with school and his self esteem. Being stressed out about the whole Garrett situation and now this has been hard. My health is delicate as it is, and I am finding I am really struggling with some issues from too much stress and worry.

So, the other stressor is Jason's job. He's worked at the school for ten years. He has gotten superior ratings at about 99 percent of his festivals and competitions. He has made the orchestra program into an amazing program. And now he is being questioned by the administration and denied programs and trips. He is being told to change grades and has refused, resulting in some bad stuff. He has been yelled at and accused of things he would never do. He admits he is not a perfect employee, but in ten years, only one person has come to observe his class. No one can tell him whether or not he is doing a good or bad job, because they have never seen him teach.

The other day he had a very disruptive child. To the point that even after reprimands, he was disruptive. Jason took him to the office and was told to learn how to deal with children with special issues better. He almost said, "Like my son, Garrett?" but he refrained. The child was back in class in two minutes and disruptive again. He went to talk to the administration again and got no support. Basically, he was told to learn how to deal with children who have different learning styles. Hmmmm.......

Anyway, it's all been frustrating and nerve-wracking and just plain ridiculous!

I know it will get better. I know Xander is stronger than his little demon bully. I know Garrett is stronger than his learning disabilities. I know what kind of teacher Jason is and how amazingly talented he is. I know we will make it through. It just makes it hard when my health becomes fragile also and I don't feel good and I have to deal with that also.

But...

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain!

Two and a half!

This weekend, Savannah turned two and a half....wasn't it just yesterday I was in the hospital with her holding her for the first time?

She's growing up so fast! This month she started saying, "I do it meeself!" and meaning it! She has to dress herself and walk down the stairs without help. She insists on not wearing a bib anymore. Everything has to be done HER way....or else!

She has started drawing faces and circles and recognizing her colors - yellow is her favorite - and wants to know what everything says. "What dat say mommy?" We read words all day long because she loves to put letters together.

She is my independent player. She can play with her Little People or Legos or doll babies for hours. She loves to sit in closets or under tables and play with her babies.

Her eyes are still big and brown and luscious! She gets compliments all the time on how beautiful her eyes are.

Her favorite foods are cucumbers, strawberries, pineapple, carrots, and scrambles eggs. She is a voracious eater and loves most things.

And she sings....all day long! Songs about her hair bows, songs about the puppies and the kitties. Songs about random things like cars....I love to listen to her little made up songs. And primary songs. She sings them all day long also. "Follow the Prophet" and "Sunbeam" are two favorites.

She loves her big brother, Garrett. Although, when he tries to make her do something she doesn't want to do, then she will let him have it! (look how young Garrett is!)

And Xander is so loving to her. She also can be a stinker to him when he tries to get her dressed or make her get out of the bath....sigh! Another strong-willed child in the house!

And Eleanor, she calls her "mommy" and they have their own language. It's pretty interesting sometimes to listen to them. Eleanor loves to put her on her lap and give her hugs and sing to her at night. They have a special bond.

She is also my little clown. She knows how to make everyone in the house laugh. She has a great sense of humor and loves to be silly. She is a fun little girl and we are so blessed to have her in our family!

Two and a half! Where has all the time gone?

The Day after.....

An update from yesterday.....

All through my life I have heard that the Lord will answer your prayers and pick up the slack, after all you can do. Yesterday was a good example of that.

I had prepared. I had knowledgeable people coming to speak.

I had prayed and fasted and even gone to the temple for this situation.

(I cleaned and sterilized my freezer even!)

That was all I could do.

As I passed the packets about Garrett's life around to the other 10 women sitting there, I knew I had done all I could do. The last silent prayer went to heaven and we started the meeting.

It was amazing.

I had Garrett's Learning Center Specialist and his tutor come to speak about him and the struggles he faces academically. They were so professional and so well-versed.

They were also prepared with paperwork and samples and knew what words to say to convince the panel he needed more testing before he started at his new school.

Maybe I should back up a little bit.....

We are not going back to Flint Hill, the school where my children have been attending and where my husband has taught for 10 years. The school that we moved our lives and family for and have bled Flint Hill blood through hours of service and other things. The school we planned our life around to make our family life less stressful. The life we had created for our children that was working and working well, or so we thought.

It's been a long and painful, very frustrating year for us.

We were called in six weeks into school to be told Garrett was failing fourth grade. I looked at his teacher and asked why she hadn't said something (because she knew and I knew we had had several meetings about him and I specifically asked her to let me know if there was a problem!)

They had concerns. They were sorry they didn't talk to us about this sooner.

We were told their mistakes were all water under the bridge.

We were told that they should have done more, but didn't and now we need to deal with it.

Well, long story short, they don't want to work with him. They were very nice, but very calculated in their process. We asked for writing samples and benchmarks and nothing was ever presented until it was too late. And even then, those efforts were pathetic.

I was disappointed over and over again.

There are other children at the school who struggle academically. Actually, quite a few. But we were targeted for some reason.

In the end, after meetings and fasting and prayers and tears almost everyday, Jason announced to the Lower School director that we would not be coming back. Our hands were tied and they knew it. They got what they wanted and it made me very sad to see the lack of effort on their part.

It is the right decision.

We will no longer have to fight every day for Garrett to succeed in a school that doesn't want to help him. He will be successful and he will make it.

Because......

Yesterday at the meeting they approved more testing for him to qualify for services. He will get what he needs and though the fight to help him is not over, he will make it in a school that cares about him.

So, thanks to the Learning Center Specialist and his tutor, we will move forward.

The school was so impressed with our organization and our thoroughness, that they commented on it several times. The woman in charge told me that in ten years she has never had a mother pass out packets and bring such qualified people to speak on behalf of her child.

She told me that she could tell we would work with them on whatever they needed.

I assured her we would.

We created Team Garrett yesterday.

He is going to make it.

My heart is aching to leave Flint Hill, but the Lord will help us out.

After all we can do......

TODAY

I have a meeting for Garrett this morning at the local elementary school he will be going to next year. I am trying hard to stay focused and not freak out.

Yesterday I ended up with a migraine headache from the stress. Today I have cleaned the entire house and organized the freezer and sterilized it.

I have an hour and twenty minutes and I am a nervous wreck.

WHY?

Because today determines whether or not he gets services for next year for his learning disabilities.

Today determines if I can breathe a little easier knowing he will be taken care of as my heart dies when I tell him he has to leave all his friends.

Today I have to tell people all the frustrations we deal with and those things have to be more important than what an amazing child he is.

Today I have to not show emotion and speak calmly, while they stare at his school performance and ask me hard questions about my little baby boy.

Today I have less than an hour to make them understand that every day of my life I am killing myself to make him successful and if they take away services, then he will struggle, because I can only do so much and I am only one person and they are many.

Today I have to separate my feelings, emotions and undying love for him and look at him from their perspective.

Today I will understand more fully the new life we have to live...not the one I have grown to live and am comfortable with, but a life that is very different.

Today I have cried tears of fear and anger and frustration and love and exhaustion.

Today I need them to feel in their hearts what an amazing child he is and how much these services will help.

Today I have to restrain myself from throwing myself on the floor and clinging to their legs, begging them to understand.

Today I have to keep telling myself it will be ok, even if it doesn't turn out the way I need it to.

BUT...

I am bringing a picture of Garrett.

A child they have never met.

A child they are already discussing without ever looking into his amazing green eyes and seeing into his soul.

I am confident about the people I have asked to come.

They are people who know him and love him and can speak without emotion.

I will have my husbands hand to hold if I cannot say the words in my heart.

Because I know, the first words that come out of my mouth will bring tears.

Sigh.....

Lavender is a lollipop and other profound thoughts on turning 40

It's a real drag having my family live all over the world (literally!).

We don't get to see each other very much, and when we do, we cram three or more years into a few days of high emotion, grandchildren everywhere and a lot of re-connecting in several hours. And though I LOVE seeing my family, it's hard to just hang out and enjoy each one.

So, when the opportunity presented itself (thank you to my sweet husband for giving up his miles) I took it and flew to Arizona to surprise my brother for his fortieth birthday.

His wife, Stephanie, and I are both busy moms, so we only talked twice on the phone and I sent her an email that came through cryptic, so there was NO WAY he could have known I was coming......oh, yeah!

Of course, the minute I arrived, we started getting ready for the party the next day. I was dubbed "poster girl" and set out making all sorts of posters and signs and fun things to hang up for the party....

My two cute nieces, Katie and Lizzie, were great helpers!

And I, being the most awesome of sisters, brought him lavender lollipops!!!

For some reason, this song, "Lavender is a Lollipop" has been a family joke for years. Probably because it was one of the few songs my brother could play on the piano. It is in a book about colors and all the songs have these funny poem like songs we used to sing.

So, the color purple starts out..."Lavender is a lollipop" and he used to play it over and over again. Over the years, it just became funny.

So, I bring the lollipops. Stephanie's grandma is over for dinner and we decide that when Ray gets home, the kids will run up to him and say, "Dad! Look what came today!" and hand him the present. Inside are the lollipops.

I was hiding around the corner until he started opening them (you can see Katie looking at me!)

He never looked up once, so I snapped a picture.....

Yep! He was surprised!

And happily surprised....

You could tell he had no clue....

Happy Surprise birthday, Ray! (I even wore my lavender sweater for the lollipop effect!)

So, this has to be one of my favorite pictures of the weekend! Stephanie with a million balloons around her. She is an amazing sister-in-law. We had so much fun getting ready for the party and thinking of funny things to write and just hanging out. Of all the sister-in-laws in the world, she is the bestest ever!

So, one of the best signs we made was Ray's head with his mullet cut out to hang over the dress shirt. The sign says "Just like my high school haircut...business in the front and party in the back!"

He dubbed it the "AWESOME" party.

I have to admit, he is an awesome brother, because he was such a great student. I taught him well. Then he married Stephanie and he really became AWESOME!

We made signs about his life and hung them up all over the backyard. People loved it. They were reading the signs and commenting on them and laughing and really enjoying them. His favorite color is red, so the balloons were red, the signs all had red in them, etc.

A great spread of his favorite foods included wings, veggies, butterscotch cookies and candy.

Lizzie and Katie made the cutest sign. Grandma Annie sent pictures and notes and then they decorated it. It turned out so adorable!

Then, of course, we had to have the shrine to the awesome birthday boy!!!

And his shirt says it all...."This is what AWESOME looks like"

Johnnie also has the same shirt and he was in charge of the popcorn. I was so impressed with him. He is a great kid! He helps out, he is responsible, kind to his sisters and family, funny and just a great person to be around. And, that night at the party, he was really popular because he was running the popcorn machine. Everyone loved the popcorn!

And this is truly what awesome looks like.....Stephanie!

She's the best and she put together the most awesome of awesome parties! Poor thing, she was exhausted afterwards, but people were raving about how fun the party was. She was the hostess with the mostest! Not to mention how beautiful and talented she is in other ways also.

Not only that, but she really does make Ray awesome! They are a great couple and have so much going for them. I loved being able to spend time with them.

My cousin, Christian, and his family came. I haven't seen them in several years and it was fun to give them a big hug and see some of their children.

And Stephanie's grandma, Grandma Peterson. She is amazing. I spent a lot of time talking to her and then was able to spend more time at several family functions that weekend. She is a grand lady, for sure!

Ray spent most of the night making balloons for the kids. They loved it. He is very well-loved by his ward family. There were a lot of people who came because they love their bishop and he loves them.

Sunday, February 20th, was Ray's actual birthday. It was stake conference and it rained. He was thrilled. It was nice and cool that day, almost chilly, and he told his kids that was the best present, to have a cool day with rain. Here's the cute family outside their church.

And Lizzie, always the ham, dressed up in the shrine paraphenalia and strutted her stuff for us!

We had cheesecake to celebrate his awesomness turning 40.

Just a note, I was with him in his final hours of being 39 and it was amazing the deterioration that happened overnight. Some drooling, but mostly just OLD! I think he'll make it, but it's definitely taken its toll.

Lizzie leading him in for the big surprise.....

Singing "Happy Birthday to you..."

Making a wish....

Lizzie helping him blow out the candles....

Then licking the candles....

This cutie, Katie, was so fun to hang around. We did her hair and it turned out so cute! She is fun and just an amazing young lady. I was very impressed with all the kids how they are just really great children. You can tell that Ray and Steph and fabulous parents. It was fun to just sit and observe the whole weekend.

Monday evening we went to one of Stephanie's brother's houses for a family home evening. Steph is one of ten children. Here are her sisters and sisters-in-law. How awesome would it be for our family to be able to see each other this much!

Her mom and dad left the day after I did for their mission in Africa, so they had an amazing Family Home Evening lesson by Grandpa Martineau and had pizza and cheesecake and even adult conversation....it made me miss our family reunion this summer! And to think they can get together on a regular basis!

Here's all the adults and some kids at the very end....what a great family!

And what a great family I have also. It was so great to sit and talk to Ray and discuss important topics and just be around him. He and I have always been close and being there made me realize how awesome my brother really is...

You can't see it, but his shirt says "I'm just one big freaking Ray of sunshine!" One of the ward members gave it to him....so, to my one big freaking Ray of sunshine awesome brother....Happy Birthday and I love you!