REGROUPING.....

It was a long, hard year.

After school got out, we retreated for awhile to lick our wounds and just heal from the trauma of everything.

I was exhausted.

The kids were exhausted.

I know poor Jason was exhausted.

As I came out of my stupor from everything, I decided we needed a fresh start.

I started a list a mile long with things I want to do for the house and our family. We have been in this house six years. It needs some upgrades and TLC. Some things are going to require more money than we have right now. Some things are going to be a quick fix! Be sure and check out my creative blog, www.onecreativeday.blogspot.com and www.sixdaysofmusic.blogspot.com (my primary blog) to see what keeps me busy! I am in the mood to create and get things done!

So! I am recommitting to blogging. It is good for me to journal everything. I know how much I enjoy everyone's blogs, so I am going to get back on track!

The Lord has blessed us immensely....more than I can describe in words. I am grateful for the gospel and my family, my husband and my children. I am grateful for this country. I am grateful for my talents. I am blessed!

Sunrise.....Sunset.......

So, take a look at these pictures......



Just about the only way you can tell them apart is by this picture......The older brothers and the shoes. The barefoot ones are Savannah. Almost the same age, same dress and same tree. When did they get to be so tall? Wasn't it just yesterday they were small?

And, of course, the tongue sticking out adds such a nice touch!

And now, the little one with the shoes is all grown up in this picture! And the brothers are too!

0 days 'til summer

School ended on Friday.

I knew the day had to come.

I tried to prepare for it.

I really tried hard to mentally get ready for it.

It didn't work......

It was a very hard day for our family.

At one point I told Jason that I just needed to leave because I couldn't control my emotions any longer. I was sobbing and I didn't need to keep torturing myself or the children.

Fourth grade is the last grade you attend in the Lower School. They make a big deal about graduating. So, Garrett went through fourth grade graduation. I would have been teary eyed on that day anyway, but knowing we weren't coming back....well, let's just say I didn't hold it together well.

I had several teachers come up to me and tell me how sad they were that my children were leaving. I had a few tell me that they were furious when they heard what was going on. I was told by every teacher that talked to me that my children are some of the most well-behaved children in the school and that should account for more than it did. The art teacher told me that she was upset that my kids were leaving and she was going to miss teaching such talented artists. She squeezed my hand and whispered, "I wish I could do something to change this, but we know I can't. Just keep them creating!" Both Spanish teachers, classroom teachers, the music teacher and others came up to me and each time it was like a knife stabbing me.

So many parents came up and hugged me and told me how much they were going to miss us. There were so many people who we love and will miss. I think that will be the hardest part!

I kept telling myself to remember that we were doing the right thing....sigh!

Anyway, it's been stressful the last eight months. Unexpected stress that has really taken its toll on my mental health and my physical health.

I'm going to try and come back to the blogging world really soon. I need to write. I need to be able to move on with life and look forward. I have been so far behind lately, that I haven't had time to move forward.

Now it's summer and we can sleep in a little bit and just hang out and go to the pool. We are going to take it easy this summer.

So, now the day has come and gone and we are all ok. Just like I knew we would be.

We are going to make it.

0 days 'til summertime.....time to start enjoying it!

Missing our cousins......

We miss these guys! It was an exhausting visit and I am still catching up, but we had a great time with them and miss them! We are also very glad their daddy is home!! I promise I am going to catch up!

My dream job

Here's another thing that has kept us busy the last few weeks......potty training!She's doing pretty good. It's been hard, since there are so many other distractions with three older siblings. She's in the car a lot and that makes it really hard to be consistent!

My favorite part is trying to get her underwear down and figure out how to still hold on to the dollies. She loves her baby dolls! Notice one of them is "potty training " also!

While my sister, Anna, was here, we were doing a delivery for instruments and ended up eating lunch somewhere in Maryland. We were late and lost and the kids were hungry. We were tired and hungry from so many sleepless nights.

While we were there, there were these two women watching the girls. They commented on how cute they were. We exchanged pleasantries and got on the subject of what we were doing. I explained our home-based business. I made the comment that the business was not my "dream job" but it paid the bills and my husband was good at what he did. I added, "This is my dream job." and pointed to my little Savannah.

We finished our lunch and said our good-byes. Life went on, but I kept thinking about my comment. I actually said it in passing, not really thinking about it. But ever since I uttered the words, my mind has been racing.

Being a mother really is my dream job. I always wanted to be a mom. I loved being an older sister. I loved learning domestic skills (even if I did fight you on them, mom!) and when I dreamed about my future, it always involved being a mom.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of self-reflection. My life is wonderful, but I need focus. I need to concentrate and really be a full-time mom to my kids. I need to keep saying "no" to things that take me away from time with my children. I've gotten much better about it and I have actually said "no" about 5 times this month alone!!!!

I only have a few more years with Xander and then he is gone....and then Garrett will leave....and so I am making an effort to be present in my children's lives. I may not go down in history as the greatest mother to ever live, but my children will know I love them and I will be able to look back on my life and have no regrets!

I wish I could say that this is what I have been doing the last few weeks of inactivity.......Sittin' around with my sunglasses on, with nothing to do......

I am almost back! I at least got my pictures downloaded, so that is a start!

Keep checking back! There's a lot to catch up on!

I've caught up to last Thursday. That's only a week behind. I will catch up! I promise!

These last two months have killed me off!