Tuesday, April 27, 2010

No regrets.....ever!

Recently, I have been involved in a lot of extra activities. I was thrilled to be asked to help with some major projects for the big fundraising Gala for the private school where Jason teaches and the children attend.

One day I was so discouraged. I was doing all this work for the Gala, decorating for the Stake Women's Conference, getting kids ready for recitals, doctor's appointments, and the daily stuff of four kids, a home business and everything else....yeah, I cracked. I had a major meltdown on my husband. It was not pretty.

Before my adrenal glands failed, I did a lot. I was busy, really busy. When I got so sick, I couldn't even get out of bed most days. I suffered from headaches and hives and fatigue and an assundry of other ailments.

Most days I can now get out of bed and function. I can go two or three days without having to take a nap. I get projects done.

But, I also think I can do more than I really can.

Little things would remind me to not take on another project. But I was feeling so good at the time, so I would say "yes" time and time again.

Then the meltdown.

Jason was patient, but firm.

No more.

Take time off - at least a year.

You need to get better.

Your family needs you.

You need you!

General Conference talks spoke to my heart. Several friends, unsolicited, mentioned how their lives were to busy and out of control and they didn't know how to stop the madness. Talking to sisters and cousins have all made me realize how critical this decision is. Articles in the Ensign and even late night talks with my husband all pointed to this one element....simplify your life. Make the best choice for your family now, so you won't regret anything in the future.

The one that really hit home was a friend just yesterday, who cried in my living room as she lamented that she should have spent more time with her sons and maybe they would have made better choices. My heart almost stopped, as I heard he say those words. I hadn't even mentioned the concerns in my heart.

I have shed a lot of tears in the last few weeks. Some were from sadness, some were in frustration, some were thankful tears.

But, I have decided to commit to living my life the way I want to be remembered.

It's not going to be easy.

My family comes first from now on. I need to do what it takes to make myself healthy. I need to spend my extra time with my children, not painting signs and running around and always being tired and overwhelmed. It's not going to be easy, but I have to do it.

I will have no regrets.....from this day forward!


This is one thing I have never regretted.......marrying Jason. My hopes and dreams all came true the day I married him. It has been a long, hard learning process, but he is my everything. He completes me, he loves me and he can't live without me. What more could I ask for? Besides, who can resist that smirk?!?!?

And these four are the reason for this new commitment....love them more than life itself!!!
Even when we have days like this!
So! A new thought process on life....and I AM READY!


5 comments:

inkahoots said...

Just like any addiction, projectaholics need a 12 step program. Create your steps and do this gradually, noting your rewards along the way. You can do this!

Your family is so beautiful and funny and smart. They know you will be there.

Chuckleheads said...

I like the 12 step idea...I think the hardest part is you learning to say no. As your sister I am empowering you to just say no. I love you and I can't WAIT to see what you come up with...

PS...can I suggest you guys get into geocaching as a family? I think you would LOVE LOVE LOVE it.

Love you!

The Hansen Family said...

Love it girl. You CAN do it!!! We're all behind you....SMOOCH!

Nikkie said...

Amen to the simple life.

Cothran Family said...

OK, after finishing my crazy day today, doing a luncheon for the entire school staff and realizing I'm too tired to walk or talk to my sister, I needed to hear/read this! I am too busy. My husband and kids need me and I need myself. Thank you Jenna for once again being a wonderful inspiration and guide in my life. ENJOY that wonderful family of yours and I will do the same!