Dancing in the Rain

There is something going on with our family and I am not sure what it is. I need some kind of talisman or good luck charm because we are having a rash of frustrating things happening to us this year! My dad gave us one awhile back and I have no idea where it went. I need him to send me another one! Maybe it will help us out!

Friday, Xander came home from school and was upset. I asked him what was wrong and he told me he is being bullied by another child. He's been trying to deal with it on his own and Friday it got worse....to the point he was nervous about going to the middle school activity night because that kid was going to be there.

I talked to him calmly (while I was boiling up inside!!!!!) and we discussed what this little demon was saying to Xander. There were some pretty mean things. And that day he had specifically targeted Xander about the activity, saying that if he goes no one else will want to go and he won't want to be near him either, that Xander is a bad person and no one likes him and then told the girls near Xander not to sit next to him or that meant they were in love with him, that he will be watching him at the activity..blah! blah! blah!

It doesn't really matter what he was saying, the fact that Xander was nervous about attending an activity and had to watch his back and avoid this kid the whole time is truly classified as bullying. He said it has been going on for quite awhile.

I have been on Xander lately about his test grades and some missing homework and now it is all making sense. The poor kid is probably so stressed out! Knowing that he is moving to a new school and being bullied are very stressful on children! I immediately emailed his teachers and let them know. There is a form the kids have to fill out to report bullying so the administration can deal with it. ( I'm not sure how effective that is, but I will have to trust the administration on that one.)

One of the teachers email back today and let me know that there is another child trying to deal with this same little demon on his own and is afraid to write the referral for fear of consequences. (My thoughts exactly!) I am glad that the teachers at least know about it, but why are we waiting for referrals to deal with it?!?!?!?

We will write the referral tonight and I think I will personally deliver it to the Middle School director. That might speed up the referral process.

One of my worst fears as a mother is that one of my children becomes a target or is not liked. I remember a girl in Vale, Oregon, where I grew up. Her name was Gina. No one liked her. Everyone said that she smelled and teased her. The boys would make rude noises and comments to her. I didn't ride on the same bus as her, but one day I did and was horrified by what I saw. I was sitting with my friend, April, and I asked her if that happened every day. She said it did. After that, I remember being very upset for many days about Gina. She wasn't in my grade or class, so I didn't have a chance to see her very often, but I will always remember how bad I felt about how the other kids treated her. I didn't even think about defending her. I think I was too shocked to know what to think at the time.

I know Xander has a great group of friends, and he is not the only target, but it is still stressful to him and our family. It is still making his mom very concerned, since he is struggling with school and his self esteem. Being stressed out about the whole Garrett situation and now this has been hard. My health is delicate as it is, and I am finding I am really struggling with some issues from too much stress and worry.

So, the other stressor is Jason's job. He's worked at the school for ten years. He has gotten superior ratings at about 99 percent of his festivals and competitions. He has made the orchestra program into an amazing program. And now he is being questioned by the administration and denied programs and trips. He is being told to change grades and has refused, resulting in some bad stuff. He has been yelled at and accused of things he would never do. He admits he is not a perfect employee, but in ten years, only one person has come to observe his class. No one can tell him whether or not he is doing a good or bad job, because they have never seen him teach.

The other day he had a very disruptive child. To the point that even after reprimands, he was disruptive. Jason took him to the office and was told to learn how to deal with children with special issues better. He almost said, "Like my son, Garrett?" but he refrained. The child was back in class in two minutes and disruptive again. He went to talk to the administration again and got no support. Basically, he was told to learn how to deal with children who have different learning styles. Hmmmm.......

Anyway, it's all been frustrating and nerve-wracking and just plain ridiculous!

I know it will get better. I know Xander is stronger than his little demon bully. I know Garrett is stronger than his learning disabilities. I know what kind of teacher Jason is and how amazingly talented he is. I know we will make it through. It just makes it hard when my health becomes fragile also and I don't feel good and I have to deal with that also.

But...

Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...

It's about learning to dance in the rain!