My Two Boys are the BEST!!!!

The past few months, I have been much more aware of my children. Since I decided to delete all the stuff that was keeping me so busy, I have been more focused, more aware and have grown to love my children so much more (is that possible?!?!?). Not to mention the fact that I have also been more patient as a mother and enjoy being a mother more. It's a good feeling.

This morning I was watching them. They were getting ready for music camp. I was amazed at how much they have grown in just a month since summer started. Jason teaches at a music camp every year. Xander and Garrett are going with him this year. Xander made FIRST chair in the top band! He is a rising 6th grader and they are all 7th and 8th graders! Go Xander!

Garrett made the second level orchestra. It is the one Jason teaches, so they will have fun! I am so proud of him! He worked really hard getting ready for his audition and did a great job!

They were fixing their own breakfast and making lunches and listening to classical music and joking around and just being grown up! I just watched....

(Going golfing with Dad!)

So, as I am watching them, I realize how much they have grown up and have changed. Xander now is as tall as I am. He wears my flip flops and Crocs. He is becoming a young man. Gone are those chubby legs and cheeks. (Sigh!)

Garrett is getting so tall! He is up to my shoulders now. His green eyes and that dark skin are so handsome!

I just stood and drank the moment in, savored it, cherished it and told myself to remember them right now, as I have done a million times before.....but this time it was almost bittersweet. Childhood is almost over for Xander, my firstborn...I'm trying to decided how I feel about that...am I ok with him growing up? I think so. Am I ready? I don't know...maybe?

(eating lobster for the first time this spring!)

He's changing so fast and his social life is changing too. The other day he told me that the girls told him he had great hair and had put their hands in his hair and were jealous of how thick his hair is. I tried to keep breathing normal. He acted like it was no big deal. Was it a big deal?!?!?

And he does quirky things like clean his room really well when one of his girl friends is coming over to hang out.

Sigh!

I know my first real crush was in 6th grade. James Casiano....he was hot and a football player and I was a cheerleader. The cheer squad leaders made up a cheer for us:

"Jenna's got a boyfriend, his name is James!

Went behind the bleachers at the football game!

What they did, they'll never tell...

But that's why James is playing so well!"

Yeah, I STILL remember it!

(He's the same one that my mom would drive by his house and honk and wave and I would literally crawl under the front seat, wanting to die a thousand deaths! )

I can tell sometimes Xander is torn between childhood and being a young adult. I am torn with him being like that too! I am also amazed and humbled to be in his presence. He is a good young man. A loving and caring big brother, a faithful friend and someone you can really rely on. He is talented not only musically, but smart and funny and creative. Gosh! I love this kid!

And Garrett....

He came in this morning to tell me all his shoes were too small....yup! The ones he was just wearing yesterday. We dug out a pair of Xander's old shoes and they fit. He grew two sizes in one night?!??!??! I sometimes look at him and remember how beautiful he was as a baby. He was so handsome and has grown up to be even more handsome! He is a loving, good boy also. He struggles a lot, but he keeps moving in a forward motion in life! He is always there to give me hugs and kisses and I love him so much!

I can't help but say silent, daily prayers for them as they prepare for missions and life. I remember how hard it was to be a teenager. I pray they will find the inner strength they need to succeed and bless the lives of others.

These are my boys....

Words cannot describe how blessed I am to be their mother.....how much they mean to me...how much joy they bring to me...how they make my life worth living...how I prayed to become healthy so I could raise them...and how I have been blessed to have that prayer answered....I love you boys!