I hate pictures of myself.....as you can see by this one, I don't like the way I look.

I avoid the camera.

These pictures were painful to see.

I was at a pont in my life that my weight was critical. I was having some health problems and wasn't happy with the way my clothes fit. Jason had signed up with a personal trainer last June and was working out every day. He lost 40 pounds and looks and feels great.

For so many years, I have struggled with my weight and my health. I have been overweight since I was twelve. That is a long time to be fat. I have tried every diet known to man, including some that were health risks. I have lost and gained weight so many times that even my scale doesn't know which way is up or down.

Whenever I was pregnant, for some reason, I would lose weight....a lot. Each pregnancy I averaged a forty pound weight loss. And still I would have ten pound babies. So I would lose even more right after their birth. But nursing killed me and I would gain it all back and then some. My health was a roller coaster after giving birth and I would be back up to my previous weight or even more heavy in less that six months. It was a nightmare!!!

So, in the fall, I decided no more. I joined the gym in January and have been working out almost every day. I have been very careful about how much I eat and what I eat. I have cut carbohydrates and sugar almost completely out of my diet. It has not been easy. My health has been acting up and my energy levels are up and down. It has not been fun, but I am determined to lose the weight this time forever.

Due to my past health problems, this is the only way I will ever become truly healthy again. I know what needs to be done now and I am determined to do it right this time!!

I made a commitment to work out no matter what. I used to have every excuse in the book as to why I didn't have time. Now I MAKE time to work out. I MAKE time for myself to cook healthier foods and walk past all the crap I used to buy. We are eating so much better!

All those things that you hear about eating small meals, exercise and watching your carbs, drinking lots of water and cutting out the sugar all work. I knew it all my life, but I am now living it. It is so simple, but it has taken me years to finally have the courage to love myself enough to do something about my weight.

Clothes that haven't fit me in years are loose on me now. I had saved an entire bin of outfits of clothes I love but could no longer fit into. Well, I am pleased to say, the bin is almost empty because I am WEARING the clothes now!

(Lucky for me, I am a classic dresser and so most of it doesn't go out of style!)

Anyway, I have a long way to go. Weight does not come off of me very easily due to my health issues, but I am motivated and I know I can do it!

So, here is the "new" me about 30 pounds lighter........

Tomorrow, March 1st starts a Fitness Challenge at the gym. Jason and I have signed up for it. The winner walks away with $5,000. I would have plenty of money for a new wardrobe if I won. So, I am up to the challenge! I may not win, but I will make progress and every little bit helps! So say tuned and see what the new me looks like in eight weeks!!!!

The Deacon Pah-r-tay!

For several months I have been feeling like I need to make more of an effort with making sure Xander has a good support system when it comes to his friends. He is a wonderful young man and has a lot of good friends, but I want to make sure I foster those friendships. We are blessed to have a huge group of boys in church that are all about the same age. Right now, there are 12 boys in the deacon's quorum, the group of boys ages 12-13.

So, at the end of January, I invited all the parents of the boys to a dinner at our house. I am kicking myself now that I didn't take any pictures. It was Pinterest worthy, for sure! I was too busy trying to get everything done and ran out of time! Oh, well!

Anyway, dinner was a huge success and I told the parents that I wanted to start getting the boys together more often. Everyone agreed. We volunteered to host the first party, since Xander wanted to have the boys over on the night we had dinner, but I told him they all had to babysit!

So, a few weeks later, we hosted an ice cream sundae party at our house.......
The amount of sugar that went in the bowls was mind blowing! They loved it and had a great time making huge bowls of all sorts of stuff....




I hadn't moved the furniture back into the living room since the dinner, so they all sat on a blanket and ate their ice cream.
Eating ice cream can get serious and some had to lay on the floor to shovel it in!


When they went back for seconds - yes, seconds! the game became "who can put the most whipped cream in your mouth...."






Then we had a "chubby bunny" contest. It was hysterical!



Overall, I think they had a great time!

I remember my younger sisters having a great group of kids they hung out with called the "mormon posse" and I want Xander to have that same experience, where they all help each other out and stick up for each other and build great memories. Some day, these will be the missionaries that go all over the world to preach the gospel and hopefully, the friendships they build now will remain through missions and college and everything life brings!

One of the reasons I wanted to do this also was because of a situation that happened earlier this year. Xander was being bullied on the bus and I mentioned something to a few of the parents of these boys. They spoke to their sons and two of the boys, Avery Olsen and Avery Volgelzang, immediately went to Xander's aide. They made sure they sat with him on the bus and kept this kid away from him. They made a birthday card for him and made sure that he felt loved.

I thanked the parents for this and one of the moms told me that Xander had done the same for her son. He was being bullied at scout camp and Xander stuck up for him and made sure he was never alone with the bullies the rest of the time. She said that she was so impressed with Xander for doing this.

It's these types of situations that made me want to start this tradition. I had crazy, sugar-filled boys at my house for several hours and was exhausted when they left, but it was worth it. Now, we have a standing night each month that we will get the boys together to do something fun together. I am excited for Xander to make these friends and these amazing memories!

Grateful for the Spirit in my life....

I was asked to give a talk on Sunday. All week long I have thought about it. The subject is LOVE, which is appropriate for Valentine's Day, of course. But that is a broad subject with a million different ways you can go. Even though I have been praying and pondering about it all week, this morning was the first time I have had to sit down and figure out what I am going to say...I am amazed how Heavenly Father showed me his will and guided my thoughts as to what direction I am to go with this subject. It is a manifestation of his love, for sure, and I am so grateful for the spirit in my life.

The song I taught the primary children in January states, "As a child of God I receive special light, the Holy Ghost helps me to know what is right." I am grateful for a Father in Heaven who loves me enough to bless me with the Holy Ghost, to guide me and protect me and bless me.

I am truly blessed.

So much to catch up on.......

I have so much to catch up on with this blog........but let's just start with our latest adventure......

First, we still have Grandpa Johnnie here. After being overseas for twelve years, it is good to have him around. We are loving every minute of his presence.

Xander needed to attend an art museum to finish up his Art Merit Badge for scouts. So we took the Metrorail downtown Washington DC to go to the Smithsonian.

We haven't ridden the Metro in a long time and the kids were so excited!

Just look at the excitement on that teenagers face!

Savannah was hysterical. She squealed and yelled "rockstar" every time we went through a tunnel and then wanted Xander to read her the newspaper.

Garrett sat quietly and looked out the window most of the ride. Sometimes it's nice to just chill.

Since Garrett has been studying Hinduism and Buddhism, we made sure we went to the rooms dedicated to its art. He really liked this statue!

The museum itself is gorgeous. Marble floors, beautiful chandeliers, not to mention the amazing art work!

And these guys greeted you at either end of the hallways.

We had invited our friends, Garrett Janiak and his Grandma, Doris, better known as Meemaw.

Garrett Janiak, or Janiak, as we call him, was born 6 months after Garrett and they have been best of friends since birth. We try and get together with them whenever possible because the boys have a great time. It will be fun to look back on this picture someday when they are grown and remember how little they were once....

Yeah, that's me in a picture....I know, shocking!

Grandpa Johnnie hasn't been to DC for a long time. We had to remember this moment for him too!

One of our favorite parts of the day was the air vent that was blowing on the walkway. It made their shirts blow up and hair stand on end!

Our favorite museum is the Natural History Museum. We decided that Xander is almost as tall as a giraffe!!!

What a great day!